Disposability

by Corvid Canine

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about

Material written between 2011-2015. Meant to be part of a split that kind of fell apart. Not sure I still quite espouse some of the lyrics here, but the songs in question have been kept because I did feel those emotions at some point and felt strongly enough to put the time and effort into expressing them.

credits

released January 28, 2016

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Corvid Canine Augusta, Georgia

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Track Name: This Body
This mind
This body
Eternally searching
Purpose
Through tomes
Through light
Through shadow
Through existence
Track Name: Carcinoma Contageon
It’s all the same to me
If you’re awake or asleep or just not even listening

Like an itch in my ear lying out of reach
Sticking keys into my skull for a little relief
Blood spilling out with bits of grey matter
Tympanic membrane rupture

Opening my head to let you inside
But you’d rather suck down another cigaret
Smoking outside, smoking outside
Cancerous cells, carcinoma contagion

What matters most isn’t that you hear what I have to say
Not anymore at least
They’re taking my voice away

If a tree falls in the forest
and no one’s there to hear it
I’m the one with the ax
Removing my shelter so that I can’t sleep
Track Name: In the Quiet Hours
In the quiet hours
What do you see?
What do you hear?
Someone is looking back
Something is there
Just behind the penumbra

What have you done?
What is that inside your head?
Seeping out, you must confront it

Knocking on the musty walls
Thumping in dark moldy rooms
Nightmares breeding

Delving deeper into this hole
Assuredly, it is quite real

Alone down there
In the space that you created
Is it fear you feel?
Or a perverse comfort?

Footsteps, footsteps
That breathing is not your own
Track Name: Scorched Earth Beneath Lunar Malevolence
Walking into the unwelcoming
Feeling of malevolent eyes
This is where I feel at home
Haunted and cursed, this land macabre

Bones and corpses caught
Among the roots of vengeful dormant trees
The dirt bares naught in night unending
Comfort found in the uncanny

I am as a ghost, a spectre
Wandering this place in solace
This is no place for the living
Yet here I am, yet here I have been

Pallid land, my lonely headscape
Home of monsters, my familiars
I have stared into the abyss
And have found myself at last
Track Name: Frayed Threads That Connect
impossible calculations
a mind unable
Incomprehensible

the world around
eyes to see a different spectrum
disconnect
live away, upward outward

Vacant
you all
simply
are not
there
Track Name: ø
All that I would ever love
(gone)
Leaves me in perversion and brokenness
(wasted)
Track Name: Regretful Transparent
Though passed from memory
Our names, faded as paint
We wander these places
Always, forever, our homes

Transparency, thirsting for the warmth of life
Loneliness is what remains for our existence here
Watching from beyond the veil
Everything we knew is naught

Eternal anguish tied to the temporal earth
What will become of us as the sun dies?
Eternal recurrence, the idea to haunt those who haunt

Regret is that which binds us here
We mourn and seethe, our lives which were stolen
Envy and hatred surge for the living
Begone, you, so full of life!
Begone!
Track Name: Punitive Bloom
In the season of sleep
From snow I emerge
A flower thriving in a soil of static and blood
Fragile and splintering
Labyrinthine anatomy
A hand reaching forward to pluck me from my dwelling
Shatter and embed
Built up from the sanguine retribution
Growing ever taller
A beautiful life
Track Name: Greek Row (Pigs and Roaches)
Pigs come scatter all the kids like roaches
Watch them run and hide

Roofies, unsuspecting victims
Strangers fucking, spreading sickness
Spoiled brats with daddy’s money
Stumbling bodies drunk and loud

Spilling beer on polo shirts
Driving drunk to pick up women
Call each other “faggot”
But we all know that you want his dick

Walking away in cuffs
Screams of “I know my rights”
Maybe the rest of us can get a little peace and quiet

The neighbors call the cops, the pigs show up and stop the party
I’d rather see it all come burning down
Track Name: Insects of Entropy
All of my potential is limited
Hours escape me I’ll never get back
Streams of anxiety surging through my everything
Painting my world in shades of panic

Subtle hues of nagging unease
Stabbing realization of the limits of humanity
Longing to spiral out, reaching the edge of time
The reaper follows steady as a creeping insect
Track Name: Passionately Indifferent
Convolution
Hiding my true intentions
Leaving you to chose your own path
It’s not my place build your home

Seeking a picture through another’s ability
Nothing but weakness of mind
Choose your own path
Only a weakling cannot decide for themselves

Do not
Waste
My precious
Fucking
Time
Track Name: Hold Me, My Third Eye is Shut
like a sound so far clipped that it disappears
a feeling i can not express
time is only a part of space
i love(d) you
Track Name: Path Behind Me Fading, Those Upon It Gone
Gone away from the path I walk
So much I longed to say
Lost in Aether
Confessions of love and forgiveness

A sad wind blows dutifully by
Forest against the black canvas of night
Glow of a lantern in Autumn’s somber

Call to mind the summer breeze
In which we spoke of a warmer climate
Welcoming the dreams that float
Gently on to hearts inclined

As we have long since departed
Neither hide nor hair to be seen
Only whispers saturating memories
I write my regrets in the amber glow
Forgiveness to the ones who injured
Affection to the ones who faded
A sacrifice of sacred parchment
The gust consumes in sacred reverence
Track Name: Antiquity's Harbinger
Aura of dust and smoke
Antiquity’s harbinger

All things exist in a loop
Damned to reoccur
Relive and forget
Expand and retract, the universe will play

All possibilities playing out
Rinse and repeat
Your choices matter not
You have made them all
Over and over and over again
And so on it goes
Track Name: Cold Hands in Dim Light
Corner…corner…corner…

Step…Step…Step…Step…

We…are…all…dead…

It’s…so…lonely…

Won’t…you…join…us?

You…are…dead…
Track Name: Relics
Cast aside your old garments
Covered in filth, unable to be washed
And I am but a stain
A relic of a time you seek to put behind you
You have let me go
This soiled heart holds tight
To the light you once brought
In a darkness, once all consuming

The wind is blowing now
The clouds arise

Folding away the darkness to yield to a cleansing rain
Now I will let you go
Track Name: Starry Spell
Every fairy tale begins and ends
Magical introductions don’t always spell happy epilogues
Laying together in the meadow as the fireflies shone
Embrace under the stars we began a dream

The heart is deceitful above all things
We placed our hopes in a beautiful lie

Fast asleep in the arms of one another
Fantasy became the world we knew
My memories stirred and a wound began to ache
Here we were in A Heavenly Dream

I spent my life growing a field of dandelions
And you were the one to offer a small yellow flower
Though I gave you what was left of my heart
It could not stop it’s withering away

The sun arose once more
and we awoke as strangers
Track Name: Sleep Tight
A possibility
Infinite loop, damned to relive
Every single waking moment
Every single footstep taken

Every single breath
Every single tear
Every single dream
Every single nightmare

Eternal recurrence
I fear and welcome the thought
That I might laugh and bleed and die again

Unknowing every hour has been lived a thousand times
Ad infinitum, backwards, forwards, north, east, west, and south

Universe contracting, expanding, restarting
A never ending cycle to live infinite probability

And as I lay myself down to rest
Knowing this isn’t the end
Time’s flow is never felt by those at rest
Sleep tight, sweet prince, we will meet again at sunrise
Track Name: Disciple of Eros (Haunted Forest Mix)
Devotee of the pornographic
Disciple of Eros
Your powers of fantasy reached beyond that of still images and carnal desire
Young and in want of warmth
I became your offering at the alter of the ancient god
Slit open my breast and remove the heart
And as the viscera washed away
So did my hopes of an escape from solitude
Bathe in the blood, offer a prayer
Seduce the lost and lonely
Make them pay for their ignorance
Disciple of the pornographic
Devotee of Eros
Your powers of fantasy are snares for fools as myself